Memories of the Lost

It's funny how certain things you see can trigger so may memories. Like a picture, or a place, or even a smell can make those most obscure things so much more sentimental than most people would think. I was watching One Tree Hill tonight and the episode had to do a lot with death and how to prepare for it and how to cope after the fact. This reminded me of my grandfather and when we lost him June 14, 2005: two days after my birthday.

I had just gotten home from a late night at work (I was a night shift dock worker at the time so it was a normal custom that I would get in around 4:30am every night.) My dad heard me come in and knocked at my door. When he told me, it was like someone hit me in the chest. And that night was the only time in my entire life that I have ever cried myself to sleep. He was 93 years old, and I wish I could live so long.

I know this may sound cynical, but when most people call a funeral a "celebration of life", to me it only emphasizes the absence of the life lost. When my uncle died my Junior year of high school, his absence was felt, and still is even to this day. His even more so since he died December 17, 2002: a week before Christmas.

But through my cynicism, I believe that we should not put all of our focus on the death as much as the memories you have of their life and the good they did and the impact they had on your life, because that - in and of itself - is the true celebration: a lasting positive impact people's lives.

I've been to four funerals in my life, which my not seem like a big number to most, but it's big enough. I always have a habit of playing one song on repeat for the entire day. It is "It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday" by Boyz II Men. Whenever I play that song, it makes me feel like I am paying tribute to the memories of the family and friends that we touched by them. And that makes me happy to know that I have that power.