Crunch Time

So this year has been a year of changes and I feel like I have grown more in one year than I have the past two years. A lot of things have changed: New city, new apartment, new possibilities that I would never have thought I would have been blessed to have. But while things are working in my favor, there are some things that stay the same for the wrong reasons. Every year that I have been in college, whenever it gets to the mid-semester point, I would hit a wall. I'd stop going to class. I wouldn't do my homework, and I would do the bare minimum just to get by. And that was fine with me.....back then.

But this semester will be different. I am working through the wall because there is more on the line this time around. And it's not just a grade or a point on my GPA. It's my life. And these are the days that will affect the rest of my life and how I go about doing things. And that is worth putting everything I have into making sure things go the way I want them to. You can win anything unless you're willing to make the effort and put in the work.

Overcoming Disappontments

Wow...this came at the right time. I received this message on Facebook after getting some disappointing news that my parents have finally filed for divorce and that my father has decided to use the money that should have gone to me after my car was totaled as the means to pay for the divorce. It's just a sad thing when you even trust your own family members. I literally made list of the people in my life that I can, without a doubt in my mind, trust completely and trust me, it's not long. Only 11 people made the cut. Well anyways, I was starting to get upset when this message came to me. It is entitled "Overcoming Disappointments":

TODAY'S SCRIPTURE
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past"
(Isaiah 43:18, NIV)

TODAY'S WORD from Joel and Victoria
Every person, no matter how much faith they have or how good a person they are will face disappointments. It may be something simple like not getting that promotion you really hoped for, or not closing that big deal you worked so hard on. Maybe you didn't qualify for a house you really wanted. Or, it may be something more serious like a relationship not working out, the death of a loved one, or some kind of illness in your body. Whatever it may be, the reality is that we’re all going to suffer some setbacks. But I believe one of the main keys to overcoming disappointments is learning to let go of the past. The past weighs you down and holds you back.

If you feel "stuck" today, you may want to examine what you're holding on to. Be willing let go of the past by choosing forgiveness. Who hurt you? Who wronged you? Release it to God. Do you need to forgive yourself? Do you need to receive God's forgiveness? Make the choice today to let go of the past so that you can experience the bright future God has in store for you!

A PRAYER FOR TODAY
Heavenly Father, search my heart and mind today. Show me any area where I may be holding on to the past. Help me to receive Your forgiveness so that I can extend forgiveness to others and move forward in the wonderful plan You have for me. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

I hope this elightens you and offers guidance in some parts of your lives, because it did for me.

Millisecond Glance

Our eyes meet and
for one millisecond...
time stops...
nothing moving.
nothing matters
but the electricity between
2 pair of glassy eyed stares
rapt in vigorous conversation
divulging secrets we dare not
tell aloud...
secrets of heartache and unclosed
doors and requited but unreturned love...
then the moment breaks.
and we look away knowing
that in the history of moments
there will never be another
like it. From one millisecond
glance, we know each other better
than we could have anticipated
and the air will forever hold
our secret…forever…

New Beginnings

Okay, I accept that I have been slacking on the blogs (don't judge me!), but I am back and I have a lot to catch you up on. First off, an update on the status of my car. For those that don't know (which is all of you...lol), a couple of weeks ago, my car was bombarded with hail that resulted in several cracks in my windshield, a cracked tail light, and countless dents in my car. I have since then been trying to get the claims adjuster out to evaluate it but he was never in my part of town. He just came yesterday to let me know that my car may be totaled. Now that's one thing I didn't expect him to say. But it maybe a blessing in disguise. If it is totaled, I may just get a new car. And with the way the economy and the auto market is right now, this would be the perfect time to do so.

Also, things are looking up poetically as well. For the past 7 months, I have been competing in the Dallas Poetry Slam almost every Friday to see where my poetry is compared to the best of Dallas. The goal of the slam is to get high enough scores to place in the top 3, with cash prizes for the top two. If you place 5 times before the end of the slam season, you qualify for the Dallas Grand Slam Championships, a giant free for all with the top 4 earning a spot on the 2009-2010 Dallas Poetry Slam team that represents Dallas at the National Poetry Slam later on in the year. So far I have 4 places and I am hoping to get my 5th very soon. It's funny that last year I wouldn't have ever recited my poetry out loud, even less in public. But new beginnings are here and I can only sit back and watch God work.

I do believe the tide has changed in my life and in a very good way. Things are working out in a way I wouldn't have expected them to this time a year ago. I guess I never really realized my growth until now, when things are starting to show and pay from the hard work I put into my life just to make it.

That's it for this edition of "Skech my Dreams". I'll leave you with this: things may look grim now, but trust that the end of the tunnel is coming and you will see the light shine in your life in due time.

Keep your creativity close, let your imagination run, live for the moment, and always have fun.

.......yeah, this is a good feeling.

Don't you love the feeling when everything starts coming together and things are just working in your favor? That's how I feel right now. And it's really amazing that only 2 months ago, I was wondering if I would ever feel like this or be in the place mentally ever again. I felt like I had the mythical "weight of the heavens" like Atlas (quick fact: Atlas in Greek mythology was responsible for holding up the heavens to keep heaven and earth from touching each other.) But one day, I made a choice. I chose to not let my troubles keep me from my life. I had too much to do and too much to live for to let any kind of problem create a wall in front of me that I can't climb. But isn't that just how life is? One great big obstacle course full of walls and pitfalls, and forks to see what will make you crack? This reminds me of one of my favorite poems by Robert Frost called "The Road Not Taken":

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Like the rain, the happiness washed away all my negativity and renewed my confidence and faith that everything will work out and that all I need to do is keep moving forward and let the pieces fall where they may. (preferably in my favor, but you never know.)

Well that's all for this edition of "Skech My Dreams". Remember: Don't linger on bad things and focus on the good in life.

Keep your creativity close, let your imagination run, live for the moment, and always have fun.

I need a title for this. I'm stumped.

Okay, I wrote this poem a while back, but I am still fiddling with it. Read and comment on what you think it needs. Thanks!

I am going on a trip to the future with destiny. So just to be sure I asked her what I needed. She told me all you needed was everything from your closet that you keep locked afraid to bring sunlight into that place. Then I told her she was wrong. I am not afraid to bring light in there because I no longer have skeletons in there. I have mountains. Mountains of all of the people that ever tried to dissuade me from dreaming. I packed my suitcase full of mountains and forgot to leave room for my valleys of hope and peace but she don't worry. We can pick those up along the way. All you need is a smile and an open heart to pay for those valleys until you have enough to make real estate out of dreams and build skyscrapers out of words, love, and life. And I understand what she I saying but I can't see myself able to do that, but she say that’s why I am here. She sees what I can't. She double tap dances on my footsteps to make sure that I am on track. I arrive at my gate confident that as soon as I got on that plane all my fears would be over, but I was stopped by security because they said I couldn't have my bag back because I was carrying concealed weapons in the form of mountains. I told them that yes I was carrying weapons. My weapons are words and I keep those mountains as stepping stones that I can't make my way to the future without. So as I leave the gate behind look out the window of my plane of purpose and seeing that past asking for constant postcards and calls because it knew I was finally going....home.

It's finally here!

Okay you can call me what you will, but I am super stoked about the new Harry Potter movie - Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. It's been too long since the last movie came out (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix) that I had to re-watch the series over again, which didn't take long. I was very frustrated with Warner Bros. when they pushed it back from it's original release date in November, but as it turns out, that may actually have been the best move. Because not only did it create a bigger feeling that this movie will trump the last 5, but to wait until the summer to get peak output on the age range (12-24 - I know very well that most of you don't fall into that age range, but it is the target.)

I hope that the movie stays more true to the book than the last 5. The last movie, while entertaining, left so much out that it really angered me. I really think that they should go back and redo all the movies and do them by the book, no matter how long the movie will be. If you take a look at the following, one would come to the assumption that the revamped movies will do surprisingly well.

Don't you love the feeling when you pick up a good book and the moment you start reading it, you just can't bring yourself to put it down until you have finished reading it cover to cover? That was the feeling when I first started reading the series. I originally started reading them because i was bored and I didn't have anything to do while I was incapacitated (I had a broken ankle...but that's another story) and I was hooked after that. I knew I had to keep reading them. I would have my best friend drive me to Barnes & Noble to buy the other ones as I finished them.

Ahem....sorry for the tangent

All in all, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince = a MUST see. You'll regret it if you don't.

Opportunities: To make or to not make? Is that really the question?

It's been a few weeks since I have been this happy. And the crazy thing is that I am happy when in most cases I wouldn't be. But that is a different story. But today I want to talk about opportunities. It's amazing how many opportunities come before us and we don't even see them as an opportunity upon first sight. But whenever the opportunity passes, that's when we see. Isn't it crazy how we see or refuse to see? Well sight is more unconscious than we believe it is. I saw an opportunity earlier this week and I am glad I did it.

But why must some opportunities be so difficult to choose to do? And does it make the decision even harder when it involves someone that may or may not be cut out of your life if you make it? But I learned that it's the hard decisions that end up having the best rewards for making the right choice. No matter which choice was the right one. So, moral of the blog: don't be afraid of the big decisions.

Till next time bloggers - Keep your creativity close, let your imagination run, live for the moment, and always have fun.

Yeah...so....

I am tired of lazy, underhanded bosses/superiors. That is all for right now.

Okay, you're probably wondering why I posted such a short blog with that statement. It irks me when I hear that people have bosses that either don't care about their employees or they won't acknowledge all the hard work that they do to make THEM look good. Because I guarantee that without hard workers to make them look good, they wouldn't be in the positions they are in now. Then you have to employers that hire people and give them practically all the work and choose to do nothing like work is somehow beneath them now that they are in charge.

And nothing, I repeat - nothing, is worse than boss that gets funny with paying you. Now I understand that it is a recession, but everybody has as much a right to be paid as the people that pay them. If bosses don't recognize this, then they will be on the tail end of a hostile situation. So please do me a favor people. If you're an employee, keep working hard and you will be rewarded. Even if it is a new job or a promotion/raise as a reward. If you are an employer, take the time to recognize your employees. Make sure they know that you appreciate the work that they do for you. We like to hear that stuff because then we know our efforts aren't in vain.

Well sorry for the rant yall, but I just needed to get that off my chest. Until next time - Keep your creativity close, let your imagination run, live for the moment, and always have fun.

Nickels

Okay, so for those who have been reading the blogs, you might recall I posted a part of a poem that I was working on about loved ones and leaving. Well it's finished, and I must say it feels good every time I finish a poem. I fell a sense of accomplishment in it. And, without further ado, I give to you "Nickels":

If I had a nickel for every time you left,
I would be richer than I need to be
and still broker than I ever wanted to be
because every time you walked out the door,
you took a piece of me with you, a memento
of the tears, and the don't go's that have
the ghosts of my shattered heart playing
hopscotch in my living room...
yet each time you come back, I was there.
waiting for you.
arms wide open;
knowing that one day I'll get crucified again,
but still not caring
sharing hugs and happy times like nothing
ever happened...
but it did...and we know it...
the echoes of void continues to remind me
like white noise that annoys
the noise in my ear whenever I think
that you are still here
and it's only a matter of time before the
ripples catch up to the realization that
this "relationship" is about as unhealthy
as a tapeworm and lingers longer than
bitter fruit and when that day comes, I
will finally be able to look at you and say:
"I love you, but for the sake of peace
speaking for the last piece of me,
the next time you leave, don't return.
because there will be nobody there
to welcome you back."
But until that day comes, I'll still be here
wondering when you'll realize that
your "I love you"s mean less than the letters
that make up the words
that your presence decays the happy from the
home;
that being with you is equivalent to being alone;
and I'm still waiting on the day
when the ripples catch up...
to the reality
that I am no longer in love with you
and I can finally let...
you go...

Something I had to let loose

This has been on my mind for a while now, but there may be some folks that understand how I feel in this situation. This one goes out to everybody that has parents who are separated/divorced. As a person who has had both parents for most of my life, them splitting up really took a toll on me mentally for a while. The main thing was that they have separated two times before, but now that the "D" word (Divorce...dunh dunh dunh....) has been thrown out there, it changed the whole game. I got a little depressed, but i was more confused than anything else. Because the last few times, really messed with my head because he would leave and come back, promising things would be better and be right back out the door again. After a while, you gotta do what's best for you, which is why I am good with the fact that they are separated.

It's funny, how much better things have gotten. it's like a big boulder (bump a chip) has been lifted and things are looking up. Most people that know me already know that I am only cordial with my father, but other than the fact that we share the same DNA, I don't really care for him. I won't get into this time around (that's a whole new blog), but let's just say that he was non-existent in my life, even though we shared the same roof. But back to the subject, I am glad that this happened, because it showed me a different dynamic of what a family could be. As most of you know, you can't always trust family members, so what do you do? Replace them. I am thankful for my friends who know about this and have helped me through it. If it weren't for ya'll...man....I really wouldn't know where I would be other than under a bridge somewhere.

So to wrap this up, sometimes the darkest of times are the times that you need in order to appreciate the light. So live your life thankful for the good times and be extra happy that you have bad times. Because a person who knows nothing but good times can be quite naive. Till next time yall - Keep your creativity close, let your imagination run, live for the moment, and always have fun.

Life in Death

It's amazing how you can see how much of an impact you've made on somebody's life in death. I didn't have a good example to work with when I first thought of writing this post, but sadly one came in the form of one of the biggest stars in music history. Michael Jackson. And it just hit me about how many people have memories, experiences, or been affected by him. And though he was constantly in the spotlight, most of what you saw in recent years doesn't show who he truly was. Everybody that remembers Michael Jackson from the early 80s up knew him as a humanitarian first and a performer second. From constantly raising awareness of other places around the globe, he used his music to encourage us all to look outside ourselves and do something for others when we can. A perfect example of that would be in his Song/Video of his hit song "Earth Song". I posted it below:

Earth Song

Michael was one of the few people that could completely fill an entire football stadium (field and stands) with fans of his music, because that's just the kind of music he provided. Electric. Moving. Smooth. Although he is gone from this earth, he will never be gone from our memories. I think we should all take a page from his book and look past ourselves and see the rest of the world. If not the world, then just look out around your local city, there is something that can be done to help someone else. Even a smile. So here's to you MJ. Rest In Peace.

Haiku

Haikus can sometimes be very hard to do because of the parameters set for it (for those that don't know, haikus are set up by syllables; the typical haiku goes 5-7-5.) So here are a couple that came to me today and one that I wrote a while back:

day comes by sunrise
settles not on darkened minds
can it be called day?

complicated life
doesn't always come out right
how do I fix this?

If I had a wish
I would buy the stars
so you could wish again

Catching Up/Daily Thoughts

Man...I realize I've been slipping, but allow me to fill you in on what the deal is. This past Friday was my birthday (oh yeah!) and ever since Thursday, I have been very busy getting things done for my party and work. Saturday was the day of the party, so last minute preparations kept me busy and the party didn't end until 3:30am (that's a REAL party!). I had a really great time, though I wish certain people would have been able to make it. Sunday was my twin-folk, Alexandra's birthday luncheon, and all I can say about that is good food, cool people, and HOT weather (We dined outside).

Okay, now that we got all of that out of the way...onto the good stuff.

Why is that people put others down around them to make themselves look squeaky clean? In most cases where that happens, it brings more attention to yourself then the people you put down. So why do it? Times are hard enough without people adding insult into the equation. If you've even taken a glimpse at a newspaper, then you know that tempers are short these days. Layoffs are happening every minute. People's houses are getting foreclosed on and savings are running out. If you can't do anything else, say a nice thing to somebody every once in a while. You never know how far the ripples will go if you just take the time to throw the stone in.

Writing is coming along better now that things have calmed down a little bit. Here is a little of a current one I am working on about loved ones and leaving:

If I had a nickel for every time you left,
I would be richer than I need to be
and still broker than I ever wanted to be
because every time you walked out the door,
you took a piece of me with you, a memento
of the tears, and the don't go's
the ghosts of my shattered heart playing
four-square in my living room...
yet each time you come back, I am
there, arms wide open; knowing that
one day I'll get crucified again, but still not caring
sharing hugs and happy times like nothing
ever happened...
but it did...and we know it...
the echoes of void continues to remind me
like white noise

speaking of loved ones and leaving, what is the deal with the abundance of divorces this year? It's almost as if ever since Obama family came into the spotlight, people are trying to "start over" and look for the connection that the Obama's have in their relationship. But yea, there may be other factors, but this is just my opinion.

Aiight! That's it for this edition of "Skech My Dreams". Until next time - Keep your creativity close, let your imagination run, live for the moment, and always have fun.

New Blog!

Hi....my name is Michael (Hi Michael!) and I am a "bloggerholic"

Aiight what's up folks. Today is only Monday and it already looks to be a very busy week. I've been trying to finish up a few poems that I have, but it's not coming along as well as I would like them to. So we will see what the week has to offer. Writing has always come easy for me, even in grade school. But now, since I have been so busy, I really don't have time to keep poetic thoughts in my head. SO I write all that I can on random sheets of paper (I have a vast variety of notecards, napkins, stick-e-notes, everywhere. It's sad really) in hopes that something might stick when I revisit it them when I get home. Random snippets like:

"I buy silence in bulk for awkward moments I will have in the future."

One day I would like to make an entire poem out of the snippets I have, but until then I will live life one word at a time.

"Keep your creativity close, let your imagination run. Live for the moment, and always have fun."

Skech