Silent Assassin

Wow. It's been five months since I have been on here. So much has happened since then. The most important happened to be the Dallas Poetry Grand Slam. I cannot even express how much I enjoyed myself competing with the rest of the poets (though I didn't win, but next year I will). The poetry spit that night was just what I needed in my life. So in honor of the poets, and my mentor Joaquin Zihuatenejo (who actually told me to write about something that I haven't before) here is a new poem called Silent Assassin. Disclaimer: This poem does reflect any thoughts or expressions of myself as I am today.

"Silent Assassin"


They didn't expect him to do it.
Even now, three weeks after his death
nobody will ever know.
Except his mother, because the last image
she saw of her son was when she walked
into his room and saw his hanging body
in his closet, the force of a thousand silent
screams was like a thousand silent knives
stabbing straight into her soul
Even now she remains on his bed.
Silent.
Holding the letter he left behind on his pillow.

"Dear mom,

If you are reading this, then the pain that i have
endured for the last 5 years has finally gotten too
much for me to bear.
The pain of looking into a father's eyes and seeing not love but disappointment
the pain of feigning interest so people would stop calling me weird
behind my back.
The stress of knowing your life is going south
and the heartbreak knowing that you would be hurt in the process
So I am sorry.
I'm sorry that I closed the door on your sunshine and made darkness my best friend
and this darkness was my friend and my assassin in the end
I'm sorry that even though you saw me smiling, you couldn't hear my soul screaming inside
"HELP ME!"
Trying to escape the darkness.
Beating myself half to life so I wouldn't drown in my own failures
So don't cry mom.
This is the only way to free myself from the pain
Remember what you told me: "The darkness hold nothing for those that still live"
So live, love, and try to be happy

I love you"

They didn't expect him to do it.
But very few expect
SUICIDE